I can't believe what I saw last night on the season premiere of John & Kate plus 8. I was so sure all the tabloids and commercials were just hype to get people geared up to watch the new season. I thought "maybe they'll just edit things to look like they are mad, when really things have already been worked out".
That's not what I saw. I saw two very angry and withdrawn people. The silences between them were excruciating.
I know I don't personally know either of them and to be so effected by strangers is weird. I've always made fun of people who talk about celebrities as if they know them. But this seems different. I mean they are real people and more than that, I believe they are a brother and sister in Christ. Shouldn't I be moved to pray for their marriage?
Last night Ellie made a really good point: where are the people (from the church) who are speaking truth into their lives? That they need to fight for their marriage? That they are both being selfish and need to work through these incredibly difficult issues they are facing?
They kept using the phrase "for the kids" over and over. "What's best for the kids". "I'm there for my kids". You want what's best for your kids? STAY TOGETHER. Get some serious counseling. Don't withdraw - engage.
I'm not saying there is an easy way out or a simple solution - clearly there isn't. But when they got married, they made a promise: "for better or worse". Not "for better or until things get really bad". No, clearly they have hit "worse". I just don't want to see either of them give up on their marriage.
I'm not embarrassed to say my wife and I actually did pray for them last night. And truthfully I feel somewhat responsible: I'm one of the viewers that has (in a small way) helped created this media monster surrounding them. The same media monster which (clearly) has been a contributor to the mess that they are in. I'm torn because part of me really wants to just stop watching. I don't want to be a part of a show that's new tag line is "watch a family fall apart". Ugh. It breaks my heart just thinking about that.
But I also feel like I can't look away or pretend that's not happening. Families break apart all the time in this country and though all of us could agree that that's not the ideal (nor God's desire), it certainly doesn't change the reality. So I would pose two questions to anyone reading this:
1) What kind of a response do you have as a viewer to John & Kate?
2) How can seeing the "reality TV" of family brokenness/divorce change our perception/attitude/action towards broken families in our community or family/friends?
3 comments:
What's up MacLeod? How have you been? This blog sounds very similar to how my wife and I have felt and responsed to watching the show last night. We actually prayed for them too last night! Christie mentioned while we were watching that all their family members and church friends from past seasons were not at the birthday party. For the sake of their family, I really hope that they can reconcile. I really wish that they would quit doing the show, but at the same time, if its on I'm going to keep watching it. Great thoughts; thanks for sharing. I'm looking forward to following your blog from now on.
hey john....
i, too, watched last night in the hope that the media hype had been just that and was deeply saddened by what i saw. i've found myself praying off and on for them and wishing that there was something i could do. i wonder if they've not only withdrawn from each other but also from their church community and their family. what tlc aired seemed to show that they've both resigned themselves to the "fact" that their marriage is over. how sad! i wonder if we who are brothers and sisters in Christ who watch their show should step up somehow. i have no idea what that looks like but wouldn't it be amazing if their believing audience came together in one accord to pray and uphold this family? thanks for blogging...
Count me in among the people who prayed for them last night -- and for most of the time since they've been in the tabloids. As I'm reading the blogs about this family, most of the comments focus on how a divorce would be best, and it's devastating. They are desperate need of Christian friends and counselors who can help them rebuild their marriage. Last night, Kate seemed almost resigned to divorce, and it broke my heart. Jon and Kate weathered the storm of the pregnancy with the sextuplets, the work of caring for them during their infancy, and witnessed how God constantly provided - and I know that with prayer, hope, and faith, they can weather this storm as well. That's what marriage is about.
Jodi and Kevin (the aunt and uncle who love and are so dedicated to the children) no longer appear on the show due to a major argument with Kate, but they are pleading for Jon and Kate to make the marriage work - and they want to be involved in the lives of the children. I think that Kate's behavior has driven many of the important people in their lives away, and although people vilify her, I feel so sorry for her because I think she just lost sight of the values she once held and slowly gave herself away to the world - to her image, to money, and to fame. As fellow Christians, we can all identify with those times when we've slipped up.
I know that Jon and the children went to church on Easter, and I also know that Kate has been away so often promoting her book that she may no longer be at home to worship -- but I have read her book and I know her faith played a major part in sustaining her through the pregnancy and their early years -- so I think that they have simply lost their way but that God is waiting with open arms for them to return. From the interviews I've seen, she is very concerned with making sure her children are provided for (which is why she continues to do the show), and I think she just fails to realize that they do have enough to provide for their children for years to come, and they need to continue to trust in God's provision for them. Knowing that she was traveling for 21 days out of the past 30 broke my heart. I think that Kate has alienated all of the supportive Christians and church friends because they may be telling her what she doesn't want to hear.
I fear that a divorce in this family will not only hurt the children, but will also show to Christians and non-Christians that divorce is something that's okay to do if you've hit a rough patch and it will make it more acceptable - and that breaks my heart.
I'm still praying...
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