I once went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.

I just don't get hockey.

I played a lot of street hockey as a kid, and probably would've done the whole pee wee thing if it weren't so expensive. Seriously...buying all that gear was harder than trying to collect all the state quarters.

But I look at hockey now and I see a facet of gameplay that is truly incredible: the fighting. I mean, you are allowed to pummel a guy on the other team. Split his nose open. Pop out some teeth. And more than just allowing it, it is somehow a part of strategy and team play!

In the last few years it seems like the violence in the NBA has escalated (though Dynasty fans would be quick to point out the brawls our beloved Celts took part in) - well, at least the violence against fans. But for NHL, that violence is and has been just a part of the game (not the "against fans" stuff, savvy?). And what's funny is I never really remember hearing anyone complain about it. You know...the whole "example to our youth" thing. It's just shrugged off as a part of the game. And what's ironic is that the Canadians, the stereotypical jolly northerns who don't lock their doors (if you believe Michael Moore) are amazing at hockey. And fighting, eh?

Here's the other thing: fighting is banned in all other levels of hockey (high school, college. etc). So what happens when Johnny graduates and gets calls up to the majors? He better start taking some boxing lessons (those Tai Chi classes at the Y every Monday night aren't gonna cut it).

Anyway, I won't bore you with a long tirade about the pervasiveness of violence in our country or our (nearly) complete lack of reaction to it. And you're right: it would be less interesting to watch two guys throw sticks and gloves down, circling each other only to..."hug it out".

I'm just saying I don't get the whole thing.

Oh, and you know what else I don't get about hockey? The hat trick thing. I actually love it: a guy scores 3 goals in a game and fans show their appreciation by tossing hats onto the ice. It does look really cool. But my question is: do people get their hats back? Cuz a New Era cap is like 25 bucks and as much as I love (insert unpronounceable french players' name here)...

Cmon.

It's my $25 hat, bro.

Target Aquired

I was in Target today, and not only was it crazy crowded, but it reminded me of something:

Next time you're going to target, make sure you wear a solid red shirt or sweater. Then, just wander the aisles, or better yet stand in one aisle and take a few items off of a shelf and look at them for a few minutes.

I can personally guarantee that some frazzled shopper will come up to you in a huff looking for humidifiers or Glade plug-ins or something. Then you get to politely inform them that you don't work there.

It's funny - I had this happen to me accidentally before. And not just at Target, actually (apparently I have the look of a "sales associate"). Most people act a little embarrassed, but some people actual seem annoyed that you don't work there.

Like it is your fault that you wore your red henley to Target.