Willem Dafoe Eats Cottage Cheese

Or at least he buys it. Here's my only brush with stardom:

I was working at the grocery store for the summer, following my sophomore year of college. I liked it; I worked with some fun people and the store kept the AC pumping, so it was always nice and cool. Just how cool Shop 'n Save could be, well I had no idea...

One particular afternoon, a friend of mine had come in to shop, and since things were pretty slow, I decided I'd walk around and chat with her, under the guise of doing some "returns". I was right in the middle of saying something extremely funny when she cried out "Oh look! It's THAT guy!" Thankfully, her exclamation was quiet enough and directed towards me so that it did not arouse suspicion from That Guy. I took a glance down the aisle and to my suprise I saw...

A slob. Some middle-aged, shaggy haired, scrawny white guy dressed in ratty shorts and a drab long-sleeved tshirt. I couldn't really get a good look at his face, however. "He's in movies," she elaborated quietly. "THAT guy? Yeah right" I said. I needed a closer look.

He was in the frozen food section at this point. We casually made our way down the aisle, trying (yet failing) desperately to look inconspicuous. His hair fell away from his face at just the right moment and with a slight gasp I realized who he was: Willem Dafoe! Now, frankly Willem Dafoe is not a huge celebrity. You probably don't recognize the name, but he's one of those guys that when you see his face, your reaction is (you guessed it) "oh, THAT guy."

I had to meet him! This was a once in a lifetime opportunity: to shake hands with a movie star (well, an "actor" anyway)! But I had a dilemma: I had recently seen him in "Spider-man" as the Green Goblin (which he was excellent as, btw). However, I wanted to appear to him that I knew of his long and glorious career in Hollywood by mentioning an older movie that he had been in and praising his work. Problem was, I couldn't think of any. My friend thought he might have been in "Platoon", but I wasn't sure and not that confident in her movie knowledge. I thought he might have been in "Navy Seals".

By this time, I had devised a plan and worked up my nerve. I was running out of time - he was in the dairy section! I came up behind him, in my neat little uniform and asked "can I help you find anything, sir?" He seemed a little startled as he turned, placing the cottage cheese in his cart. I then quietly asked him if he was in fact Willem Dafoe. He seemed pleased at this; he smiled and shook my hand. Then I went for it: "were you in 'Navy Seals'?" His mood shifted slightly, and it suddenly felt a little cooler by those dairy coolers. "Nope, I wasn't in that one," he replied, graciously masking a hint of annoyance. I then proceded to praise his excellent work in "Spider-man", then briefly wished him well and walked off.

That friend of mine won't let me forget that to this day. I've since seen almost 200 movies (well, at least 3) that Willem Dafoe was in where he performed brilliantly. But you know what? I shook his hand and she didn't. So there.

I had to admit I was pretty star-struck the rest of the afternoon. I bragged to my coworkers how I had walked right up to him and shook his hand (no one else had dared to). I probably omitted the part about "Navy Seals". But it was cool. I met Willem Dafoe.

And in my defense, that guy with Charlie Sheen in "Navy Seals" looks a lot like Willem Dafoe. Kind of...